More importantly, she was always the first to tell me when I was acting like an ass hole; of course she never used those words. And she was also the first to compliment me for a job well done.
Kathleen taught me a lot of important things like how to set a table, make cookies, sit up straight, and brush my hair. And no matter how mad I got at her, or how much I felt betrayed, she always remained my hero. It was her and my grandmother’s approval that meant the most. And where my grandmother faulted in praise, Kathleen was quick to pick up the slack. She was the person who I looked to and said “yeah, that’s how I want to live.” She was the person I wanted to emulate, but constantly struggled with the person I was and the fact that sometimes, nature overpowers nurture. And boy did she try and nurture me. I guess really, I’m just a little slow on the uptake. Repeat it enough times and eventually, I do get it.
So how do you repay someone who you owe so much to?
I look at the struggles of people close to me and I see them making the same mistakes that I did/do and sometimes I want to quit and walk out, but What Would Kathleen Do? – She certainly never quit, and lord knows she could have.
So I ‘Pay it Forward’ and hope that one day, I can help someone even half as much as Kathleen, my grandmother, my godmother, my friends, my cousins, my teachers, and my siblings have helped me. 2010 has continued in the footsteps of 2009, it’s made me incredibly humble and thankful for those who have contributed to where I am now, to the decisions I have made, and the plans that I have for myself.
I want to save the world, so I’m starting with myself.
I am trying to expect nothing, hope for everything, and remind myself to be thankful for what I have, even when the clouds seem to roll in.
