I was sitting there today at work thinking about what went wrong at the wedding I went to back in May. I had a terrible time, and looking back, I placed a lot of blame on the bride-to-be and one of my Best friends.
I remember trying to be fair with my anger, I tried to look at both sides, because I pride myself on being able to do that. Interestingly enough, when feelings are involved, sometimes, there is a disconnect.
Here are the facts:
1. My flight got delayed
2. I ended up sleeping in an airport (or trying)
3. What was supposed to be seamless and flawless, turned into a nightmare
4. My relationship with my boyfriend at the time, was rocky.
5. It was high stress as this was the first time my friends were meeting my boyfriend, I wanted him to impress them, and felt like he failed to do so
6. All the above statements made me angry
7. I just wanted to be with my best friend as much as possible before her big day.
8. I was hoping to spend a day at the pool with my best friend
9. I was ditched, and left out; then ignored.
10. This made me sad
11. I spent a good 3 hours feeling pretty alone and contemplated leaving before anything else bad could happen
12. The Bride, was beyond your normal selfish for any bride, especially at her friends expense.
So here is the truth:
I was looking for a pick me up from my friend, because I had been there countless times to make her happy when she was sad. And while this was HER wedding, we had plans, we had talked and talked and talked, and in the end, she made me feel like she didn't want me there. She failed me.
My boyfriend was just as selfish; he also failed me.
But most of all, I failed me.
And now, I’m sorry for the anger I displaced on her, and I’m sad it cost a friendship.
It’s interesting, how some time, can give you perspective.
Most days I miss our friendship but mostly, I’m grateful for the learning experience.
