I’m giving you a chance, so take it

Trust is a funny thing. For some people it’s easy to give away. For some people it’s hard to give. But its always easy to lose. One slight bump and it’s gone. And gaining it back never is as easy as making friends in grade school. It’s not as if “I like your crayons” will seal the bond again. It takes a buildup of events and a conscious decision to make amends. Even then, it’s always that piece of china that was shattered and then pieced together, the strength weakened.

Gaining my trust can be both easy and hard. Easy if you find a way to weasel your way into my heart, but hard if you’ve just taken the normal route. I build these walls to protect me, because I’ve had bonds of trust broken repeatedly by the people who are supposed to nurture you and love you unconditionally. My teacup has been broken time and time again so for me to hold my cup out and allow you to fill it, it’s something amazing and completely frightening all at once. Because I love too hard and forgive too easy, I shatter rather quickly as well.

I'm relying on my best memories

Life is strange and constantly surprising me. When I feel like I’m most invisible someone always seems to see me. When I’m trying to keep a low profile, someone seems to see me. You forget what it’s like to laugh sometimes, and how it feels to smile. And then you forget what it’s like to look forward to things and want more because you’re too busy trying to be invisible or keep a low profile.

When do we figure out that life is about being heard and seen? When do we stop trying to hide and embrace what life has to offer us? It’s hard to change that thought pattern of existing and just getting through each day. But life puts things in our way to make us see something. Make us learn and adapt.

What’s the lesson here I wonder?