And we are never, ever the same

When you cross that boarder between friendship and not, or you take a step in the wrong direction and blurt something out, you risk losing the friendship you’ve had.

I am no stranger to losing friends – nor am I the innocent party in losing said friends, but I am by no means the only one to make the friendship stop.

Though, I feel guilty, because what used to be a great friendship founded on being open and being able to talk has just become a cloud of holding things in and refusing to speak. Refusing to let things out for the fear of the truth hurting.

He used to be able to tell me anything and it didn’t bother me and now, he feels like he can’t say anything to me, because it will end in an argument. I’ve changed our friendship by falling for him, even when everything in my head said it was right to do; That is was okay to do. I've single handed-ly changed that friendship because I fell.

Clearly, it has become a trend in my life to cause these disturbances in the relationships that I hold closely to. I take offense to the things in which I should not take offense to. I get my self emotionally attached so that when things do not come out the way I would like to, I am hurt.

I would like to be able to talk to my best friends again, but clearly, I have lost that right to do so. It’s my fault for falling for one of them, and it’s my fault for getting defensive on something I should have held my tongue on with others.

And there lies my problem. I do not know when to shut up. When to take the hit and just let things go.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.