Don't know how else to say it....

Can we say frustration much?

Seriously.

I've been trying hard not to totally explode on people and just unload every thought and emotion I have about whatever is bothering me because really, who wants to listen to someone's troubles? Not very many people and if they do listen they give these reject responses that do nothing by make me more frustrated. But then thats probably my own fault, of course.

There are so many things that are just irritating the hell out of me and if I try and get someone to listen to me vent, I just feel bad for even opening my mouth and question why I even feel the way I do.

Am I just an uptight person?

Or do I just suck THAT much to be around, that people can't really even make plans to hang out. I guess when I say I want to talk, really I don't want to talk I just want to do something that takes me mind off of all the shit thats going on in my life.

Rents due, and not to be a total jerk, but I'm willing to bet that my roommate doesn't have her share. I do, even though I just got laid off, I have the money for that. We got our first months phone bill, thats more than I expected it to be and neither of us have a job.

Is it sad that I think I'll have a job before my roommate gets one? Because she hasn't been working for two weeks....I get worried and frustrated because I'm the only one paying for anything. Money is coming up missing and so is a lot of my stuff and if it isn't missing its broken, and if its broken, of course I don't get told unless I happen to stumble upon it.

I expect people to be grown up about things, but apparently thats asking too much. Just like me asking for solid plans from people is too much. They can't ever say "yea, We'll do this" because they want to leave the door open just in case something better comes along... Because apparently I'm not worth it.

Please, reject me some more because I don't already feel like the worlds biggest reject. I can't even use my own god damned judgment to pick something good, I always end up picking the wrong thing.

Feeling fucking fantastic.