Martial Art of Bull Shitting.

There is one thing high school did for me… wait, it was more what a class did for me.

I spent 3.3 years on the Palantir Staff (High School Newspaper Staff) and having done that I will say it did a few things for me. Number One, It kept me highly trained in the art of bull shitting.

Each day for a two week period we would have little staff meetings or debriefing when each editor would stand up and go over the list of stories asking writers how they were doing on their assignments and if they were having any difficulties. And each meeting would go as so

Editor: How is your story coming?
Writer: “It’s almost done; I have one more interview, nothing big, just some last minute verification” Meanwhile that writer would be thinking “I have no idea, I haven’t even got a word on a page..:: gasp:: I’ve forgotten how to write!”

And then we had a 3 nights a week “work night” or what I refer to as Punishment for not getting your shit done. In these work nights, there was often a similar briefing on where locations, occasional inanimate object, becoming animate as someone hurled it toward their offender, the occasional cursing and death threats. Blenderizations (trademark Jess and Jennie) and Pizza, which brings me to the second thing I learned in Palantir, you CAN in fact O.D on Pizza and its probably best to skip your last period and hit up taco bell before coming in, as you have a grueling 3-4 hours of hell a head of you… …And the third thing I learned, advertisements serve as good leverage to getting free pizza.

It was these beloved work nights that the following conversation might occur for a writer:

Editor: Where is your story? It’s not on the computer?
Writer: "Story is done, I'm putting it on the computer today." :: Actual thoughts:: "Christ, I have to find 4 friends to get fake quotes from so I don't look like a total moron.....Now where did I put my cell phone? :searches pockets: Crap. Where did I put my pen? :: as pen sits neatly in hair used as a hair fastening device:: Does anyone have a crayon? Marker? How about electrical tape and scissors? I'll strategically cut out words and put them on...:: looks around finds envelope:: THIS!"

And thus, I learned the “Martial Art of Bull Shitting.” To be used later in life… trust me.