Falling into, falling into, you're falling into history

There was a time when I wouldn’t go anywhere without my camera. There was a time when all I wanted to do was take photos. I lived for it. I was intoxicated by the art of showing people what I saw or finding a unique look at something familiar.

I had always taken pictures on my Fuji Finepix camera and it produced relatively good photos for a point and shoot but I longed for the bulky-National-Geographic-like heft of a dSLR. One day after a rough week at work I decided I wasn’t waiting any longer and made the purchase.

After many months of studying and asking questions and comparing I settled on the Nikon D60 because it was a good basic camera by all accounts. It was great for learning and good enough to take into the first steps of being pro. I was in love with what it would mean for my photography and immediately started using it, except, the photos I took with it were less than amazing. I figured, well I just don’t know how to use it properly, once I took a film class and learn how to properly use an SLR camera my photos would be better.

I took the class. Two of them in fact and I tried changing settings and fixing shutter speeds and apertures, but nothing seemed to be working. The photos came out too blue and I couldn’t figure out how to fix them short of putting the camera on Auto and snapping the picture. This was what I always did with the Fuji, but I had more expectations for the dSLR. I wanted to be a real photographer that was able to create the image with little to no editing but the photos I was producing were less than quality.

So I set down the camera and I’ve seemingly walked away from it. I’ve walked away from photography. I argued that there wasn’t time, I was too busy, but that was hardly the case. I noticed when I did go out and take the camera I didn’t take many pictures. I always felt less than satisfied with the results. And this began to bother me. I wanted to know why I had fallen out of love with the camera and the photographs.

I figured it out when I was talking to a friend of mine. I realized I had taken two photo classes expecting to learn how to use my camera and how to be a better photographer, but instead these two classes have left me feeling like less of a photographer. I learned how to develop, but not enough to really love what I created. When I would get things wrong approach the professor of the class for help I was greeted with hostility and abrasiveness.
All in all, I loved the professor as a person, but as a teacher, he seemly had failed me. I feel like I missed out on a lot of really potentially good information.

What I realized is that had I learned more about how to use the camera and had more successful results than perhaps I wouldn’t have fallen out of touch with my love for the lens. I seem to have put down the camera and walked away from it on the account of not loving the outcome and feeling like I wasn't taking good enough photos. My photos bored me, they didn't inspire me.

When I used the Fuji with my lack of knowledge I could always come away with at least 5 pictures of the 200 that I shot that I adored. This was good enough for me. It seems now, I'm lucky if I get one, this discourages me.

I realize that I seemingly let go when things got bumpy and I want to pick the camera back up and fall back in love with photography because I feel rather empty without it.