ABC as easy as 123.... or Not?

So I had my first court ordered counseling session which I lovingly refer to as the “Circle Jerk.” I went into this trying to be optimistic because lets be honest, I didn’t have control of my life at the time, and now I’m trying to regain control and look at everything with a positive aspect.

We talked about the ABC’s of Reality… which really is ABCDE of reality and how they effect situations. I’m going to try and remember all of them; it wasn’t a bad concept to think about so yes I did walk away from the thing with something new in my head. However, what I didn’t agree with was how the group was guided.

A = Activating Event: Something Happens. These Activating Events can bemajor: job loss, serious illness, death of a loved one, failing at somethingvery important. They can also be a series of minor annoyances that add-up over time: spilled coffee, broken shoelaces, a long line at the bank or grocery store. Activating Events always have something to do with your goals (what you want) being either aided or interfered with... They are always neutral (until B kicks in )

B = Beliefs: Thoughts, & Attitudes about "A" These Beliefs can be RATIONAL (Reality based, logical & self helping) and they can be IRRATIONAL (Demand & wishful thinking based, illogical and self-Defeating) This is also known as “Self-talk” What you tell yourself based on what you believe and know.

C = Consequences: The Emotions (Mad, Sad, Scared & Glad) and Behaviors that are the results of A (Activating Event) + B (Beliefs)

D = Disputes: Arguments against irrational beliefs

E = Effects: of the disputes. New emotions and behaviors that result from replacing irrational beliefs with rational ones.

An Example of this would be – A.) I forged a doctor’s signature on a letter so that I could get time off of work. B.) I did this because I felt that I needed the time off and would not get caught, even though I felt bad, I knew that it would be okay. C.) I was hurting so that over ruled my general thoughts and beliefs that say I shouldn’t do this. D.) I went back and forth between good and bad on which I should do. It’s the classic angel on your shoulder piece. E.) is what you decided to go with, generally not a good thing.

The point of the exercise was to use this process to think about your thinking, which often will help you avoid getting in a situation you don’t want to be by being irrational. It helps you rationalize your thoughts and clearly see the activating event as a neutral thing.

Like I said it wasn’t what we did because the concept and theory is quite good and it was something that sparked thoughts for me. What I had a problem with was how he (The Counselor) handled or facilitated the group session. His questions were very “court appointed” when going into a therapy session I have realized that as the facilitator you are supposed to be objective, not subjected to what people are sharing. It’s probably not a good idea to place blame but rather assist someone in the rationalization that they need to accept responsibility for their actions.

The facilitator also bothered me because he looked a lot like my step-father and it gave me the creeps. It was very hard for me to sit in the room and not instantly twitch from the memories in my life that haunt me.

I would like to get through my time in therapy relatively quickly with as little participation as possible. If they need me to cry a bit, I will just please, let this rip off quickly like a Band-Aid because the next 32 weeks I will be paying 20.00 every Sunday to participate in a therapy session lead by a guy that makes me convulse. In essence, I’m paying for a seizure… Not really all that fun.