Take a look at my life... All Black...

I’ve declined to buy my aunts car from her and I’m actually quite torn about the situation... If I'm going to spend that much money, it should be something I want, and not something Im settling for...

2003 Chevy Impala

Pros
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Its a car of my own right now.
Its in decent shape
It’s blue.

Cons
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I hate Impalas. (the way they look) (the tail fin)
It’s not comfortable to drive long distances.
It needs new tires/breaks/rotors
I don’t like the way the steering wheel is, its awkward driving it.

I guess at this point in my life I can sort of afford to be picky, before it was "accept what you can and don't be so picky." But I think in this case, If its not comfortable to drive that’s a big thing, I love driving (even if gas prices are outrageous.) Furthermore, I don't like the car to begin with I’ve never liked them. In fact Kristin and I used to make fun of that car. To me its like the equivalent of driving an egg, and most of my friends can attest to how much I dislike egg cars. It also things need to be done to it and I just don’t want to put forth the effort and feel that the car isn't worth the 5400. Granted my aunt would be selling it to me for 4100.00 (her trade-in value) the other 1300.00 would be for the work that needed to be done on it right now..

And then there’s that other part of me that doesn’t want someone in my family’s hand-me-downs. I know, it seems as though I’m being slightly snobbish, but I haven’t ever really gotten a car that wasn’t someone in my family’s before, I just want something that is my own, that I got to choose. It’s a stupid thing, but I need it to validate myself as an adult who is able to make decisions.

On the other hand it has been quite difficult to talk to Kathleen about my wants/needs. She always seems so busy and if I do talk to her its like I’m interrupting something very important, so I just try not to talk to her and just keep things to myself. Seeing how she controls my income its not exactly the easiest thing to do... It makes me feel really helpless. I hate that.

I need something that I can control in my life.

On the flip-side I got my first A+ as a college student. My last paper I wrote I got 100% on. Which is pretty effin sweet if you ask me.

The next essay we have to write is a descriptive essay about what our dream life would be. I think I’ll probably write about living in a New York City loft and working for a pretty widely known magazine as a photographer. The point is now I have to incorporate taste, touch, sound, smell and sight. Some of these will be easier than others... I just need to think of a creative angle, I don’t want to go into it like “my dream job would be like....” Just doesn’t seem all that... interesting and too childish.

Maybe talk about something really important that i had to get done, pick and “event” in my life to talk about and detail around that....

So, that is what’s going on in my head these days....

As always, I miss my friends.