She comes and goes like no one cares

My insecurities come out the most when I fail at something. I start struggling with everything I’ve done wrong in my life. I start looking at myself without confidence. I start hurting and I beg for attention but also push it away.

Leaving Arizona is the end of many things. I’m going home to a boyfriend-less living space. I’m going home to a cold and quite bed.

I’m going home to start a new chapter in my life. And I feel like at this point in my life there are already so many “new chapters” in my book. There are so many mess-ups and so many learning experiences.

I know everyone “matures” in their own time, and no ones book is written the same, but I’m growing impatient waiting for maturity to hit. I’m growing impatient with restarting constantly. My batteries run only for a short time before I need to recharge, re focus and reorganize again. I’m growing impatient with my own wild heart and myself.